I think it’s time for a post, don’t you? I have many things to tell—almost too many to remember. Let’s try some free association…

My Amazonian Societies teacher is an interesting person. His name is Florencio Delgado. Last class, Heather and I were arriving late—the bus always has its OWN schedule. We saw Prof. Delgado up ahead of us, so I was like “RUN!” (so that we would beat him to class) I was repeating under my breath Ecuador’s motif, “SI SE PUEDE” which is kind of like saying “WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS” at a game. So we ran and weaved and bobbed ahead of him….until suddenly we realized that he was not going to class. He was heading to his office first. (Mind you, HE was LATE too) We walked the rest of the way class, found our seats, and proceeded to talk until Florencio arrived. 15 minutes later. Finally—class is starting, right? 

No. 

He left again, and ate breakfast. Needless to say, we started class REALLY late, but Florencio made up for it by keeping us later. His lecture was really engrossing….or perhaps I should say he was really engrossed with his lecture. In great detail he described his last visit to the shaman or the indigenous witch doctor. Apparently, Florencio had quite a trip and I am not referring to the bus ride into the countryside. No, Florencio’s favorite custom is drinking this hallucinogenic substance that takes you on a trip that does not include a bus fare. He described it as rushing waves, then falling into pieces, and landing on the top of a tree, and then vomiting a lot.

Interesting.  

Last night, Heather and I went to this Ecuadorian female vocalist concert in Teatro de variedades. It was supposed to be classic rock, and technically it was, although Message in a Bottle sounded more like Meissashe een deh Bahddle. We also heard Haf sumbudy to Loave which I think Anne Hathaway did a better job of in the movie, Ella Enchanted. It would have been less comical if the signers could have maintain “the moves” while singing. 

It was like, 

“SING>>LALALA” 
stop. 
(little dance)
stop. 

“SING>>LALALA” 

It was something kind of like chewing gum and walking—just singing and dancing. The lights were cool though. Lots of special effects. Apparently the girl signers thought so too. They said, “Muchas gracias por las luces” I didn’t know that performers usually thanked the light crew. It was their début performance.  

Among other things, I have learned some things which strike me as funny because it’s what they call here a “choque cultural.” Cultural aspects that differ between the US and Ecuador that are good to know, and funny to find out… 

• Sometimes you actually have to pay between 10 and 25 cents to use the bathroom. 

• When you see people eating, say buen provecho or Bon appétit—even if they are strangers. I think that is nice. 

• The sales people that stuff merchandize in your face on the bus do not have rights that are protected by the Ecuadorian constitution as of 2005, but your rights may be infringed if you do not BUY what they hand you. 

• At Ecuadorian bible studies, it’s okay for the men to cry. 

• Apparently, the economic crisis in Ecuador has upped the sales of lucky incense. Need money? Buy this fragrant, pleasing, helpful, aromatic, positive-energy-conducive stick and burn it. 

• When motorcyclists yell at you, “FLAQUITA” (skinny girl) as they pass you on the street—you are actually supposed to take it as a compliment. But you are not supposed to run down the median shaking your fist yelling, “CONTRALE”

• Nine times out of ten the person you ask for help on the street tells you what you need to know, or if they don’t know, tries to help you until you figure it out. 

• If you need sticky plastic paper to stick something to something, you ask for “Scotch” which sounds like “Scotche” not TAPE. And if you need a folder, it’s better to just think simple and ask for a “foldare” instead of looking up in Vox dictionary the 15 different words for envelopes, binders, booklets, brochures, leaflet, or pamphlets. 

• You can get hot chocolate or cold. Both usually include frothy whole milk, cinnamon, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce . Amaaazing! 

• The three most common words in association with the United States are NOT America, Norman Rockwell, and Apple Pie, but rather, Bush, Brittney, and Xenophobia. 

• If someone gets your phone number, they will call you. 

• People tell you that Ecuador is an exception to the rule. The word “Gringo” is not EVER pejorative, insulting, slighting, or rude. It is only ever used with much affection and cariño. And I have to agree. 

• People here are so much nicer. You can’t walk into a room without greeting everyone formally. And you may never leave without saying goodbye. A kiss on the cheek for all. 

• When you ask for a coffee- you get it black. When you ask for a salad- you get one vegetable.

• When going up and down stairs in the US: Go up on the right; Go down on the left; indecisive? Pick one and stick to it or change your mind when you get to the top or bottom. Start again, in your lane. When going up and down stairs in el Ecuador: Do whatever you want! In fact, stand in the middle of the stairs and check your homework. Or go up the stairs backwards, sideways, or zig-zag. Stop suddenly, twirl, and cross diagonally. Just don’t fall. 

• When at the mall, listening to live music, it’s okay to dance. ¡Baila!